Sunday, 2 October 2016

October, 2016: Mulitple Goodbyes

Dear all,

It has been quiet of late on my websites, and the reason for that was a personal one. This month I buried my girls. Both had been ill for a while, and with a heavy heart, I had to let them cross Rainbow Bridge. The vets did all the could, but as Lennon said, Time is not a friend.

My cat, Mini, passed away from old age. She had a cold, and while we tried to keep her fed and active, it was September 13th when her little feet stopped carrying her. I knew something was wrong instantly when I touched her belly - which would normally earn a bite - only for her to not even respond. The day's of hand-feeding and tucking her into bed near the heater were done. She was ready to go. I am trying to be grateful that she spent her last weeks by my side, and take comfort that I did everything I could for her.

My baby girl dog passed away the following Friday. She had been struggling with a seizure condition since April. At first it seemed quite manageable, vets ruling out any illness that would have been actionable. They concluded it was a legion or bleed in the brain which would be inoperable and to enjoy the time left with her. We did try alternative medicines including eating plans and massage sessions twice daily, only the measures weren't enough. After seven weeks of no seizures, she went into a bout of Static Epilepticus, where the brain cycles through numerous seizures which cannot be halted without vet intervention. She had 10 at home, while I rushed about getting emergency travel and care organised, it being a Friday night and all local vets closed. She had another 20 while being taken to the emergency facility, which is unfortunately over an hour away. Had I known how far it was, I could have prepared better, only when these extremes happen but several times over our long lives, you aren't able to.

Baby was put to rest after the vets made me aware that she was audibly suffering even on IV Valium. It would be unfair to keep her. After one seizure she would be stumbling for up to 24 hours, and it would be much worse after over 30 seizures in a row. The decision broke my heart, but it had to be made. Dog specialists had told me that the day would come and that I would have to be strong for her. Dogs can't tell us what they want us to do, but looking deep into her eyes as she had those first 10, I knew how trapped she felt, unable to control what her body was doing. It wasn't fair to leave her stuck between worlds.

Losing both of them within days of each other was a shock. Suddenly the house was quiet, nobody needed me to feed them, and there was nobody looking for the warmest spot in the bed. It was just my partner and I, both feeling lifeless. It was the stillness and clean rooms that bothered me. I grew up in a loud, messy family, always complete with several pets. Not having any felt so surreal, like I was asleep. It was driving me crazy.

While another animal will never be the same as my girls, I felt it was time to get another. Learn to love again and find positivity and joy in the world that felt so cold. I figured it would take ages to find another, as there are always waiting lists with breeders. That said, I found a litter of home-grown puppies that were of the two breeds I had been interested in: Jack Russels and Pugs. There was a little white one that caught my attention, who seemed very healthy, rambuncious and ready for love. He joined our family, earning the name of Ronnie, after my grandfather who passed away 3 years ago after battling Prostate cancer for 12 years. He was the kindest man I had ever known.

So while time has been rough, and websites have not been updated religiously, my life has not been easy-going. Starting this month I'll have everything back on track, including taking on more clients and projects that have been in the pipeline. I thank everyone for their well-wishes and hope that your lives are rich with happy tails and noses, whatever species they belong to.

Until next time,
The Editor.